No Secrets, No Shame: Triggers are your best friend!

I consider myself deeply fortunate because my life is filled with the conversations most people prefer to avoid. Before you start thinking I'm a masochist that enjoys torturing myself, I want to share with you my experience of what it feels like to live our life open, honest, clear and direct with RIG (respect, integrity and generosity of spirit).

No secrets, no shame.

Secrets and lies rot us to our core. Over time, we become distrustful of our self and resentful of anyone who lives their life out loud. Without necessarily meaning to, we become punishing of another - ironically, especially those we care deeply about - who dares to enjoy their life.

I’ll give you a personal example. A few months ago I found out that a woman I liked was going to have a second child. Before I could be happy for her, my internal state went resentful. I really wanted to be happy for her, but felt I couldn’t. Because I had not yet made peace with the fact that I only want one child. So when I heard the good news, I found myself unable to be happy.

Because I want to live my life aligned, I took notice of my internal response. Since I do not want to live this way, I practiced what I preach. In having stayed with it all through Quantum TLC™, and it took what it took to do that, I ultimately made peace with the truth I had been fighting for so long: our family unit is complete (for now).

Before safety is established, struggle is a way of life.

As long as I didn’t want to face my truth, I would find myself struggling and resisting the intelligence underneath the struggle. Which only means that I would struggle more.

In the struggle, I would find someone to blame — most likely, my husband. I would take out my frustration on my son. Ultimately, nothing would change. But the pressure in my body would increase, and so would the sense of entitlement and resentment.

How many women live their entire lives foaming at the mouth with unexpressed rage? How many women live their entire lives steeped in shame and fear? How many women live their entire lives from the familiarity (and limitations) of their history, resenting every inescapable moment of it?

Such is the nature of the beast: it consumes you if you don’t find a way to make it your friend.

Step one is always: Notice Yourself.

In our world, triggers are our best friend. Here’s why:

You already know what it’s like to finally exhale after having held on for so long. It feels good, right? It feels freeing. It feels aligned. It feels like you can let go, and move on.

My life is filled with women who tell me how good it feels to finally reveal a story they've been holding on to in secrecy and shame for years. That simple moment of revelation changes how they perceive themselves and how they relate to themselves.

My job is rather simple: stay calm and congruent inside myself, and become the Space within which safety is established. My job is also to guide the client through Quantum TLC in the moment a trigger presents. That is what allows them to feel safe going deeper in the line of inquiry necessary to discover the intelligence of the message — aka how it’s existence in our life made sense, or, the “reason” it was there to begin with.

In our world, triggers are good news!

The trick is to discover how to make them your best friend … because ultimately, they are.

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