An Interview with the Project Creators
Guardians of the Vision: Parenting for the Birthright of Potential offers insights and discoveries, as well as challenges and queries that invite us all to redefine and reclaim an expression of ‘parenting’ that is sustainable over time. In the lives of these compelling writers, you’ll find the stirring of your own inner truth.
What follows is an interview with Anita Allen and Louise LeBrun - co-creators and editors of this book project.
Why a book on parenting?
LL: When Anita first approached me with the idea of this co-creation, I felt great appreciation and gratitude for her interest. I can think of no more potent process than what we call ‘parenting’ - a euphemism for ‘mind-share’ and all the outcomes that it breeds.
Although I no longer have young children in my full-time care, I am mindful that the women I work with once were those young children and far too continue to be trapped in the mind-share that was etched into their psyche... often presenting as the truth of who they should be. I know that parenting is the most direct route for us to take to transform who we are as a people and to transform our impact on our world.
Anita is the young mother of three young children. She is smart, deeply caring and compassionate - as are all of the contributing authors to this book. As unique and distinct as each of them is, what they have in common is a WEL-Systems® perspective... a way of seeing themselves and their world (including their children!) in a much more powerful way. If anyone can make a difference in the parenting conversation, these folks can! In their stories lie the invitations to consider another way of being true to ourselves and another way of being with our children.
AA: As a mother of three young children and someone whose life has been expanded by a WEL-Systems® perspective, I was seeking conversations about parenting that were enriching for me. After looking for information from traditional sources such as books, magazines, television and the internet, I soon realized that nothing existed in those realms that reflected how I see myself as a “mother” or how I view my role as a parent or as guardian of my children’s potential.
Children are the embodiment of potential. They are creative, energetic, enthusiastic beings – many of the qualities we seek to reawaken in ourselves as adults. I wanted my children to remain connected to that part of them so they could move forward from there rather than waste precious time and energy trying to recapture what they were born with. In order to be resourceful for them, I needed to ensure that I was investing in my own growth.
When I approached Louise about co-creating this book project my intention was to have conversations that would enhance my evolution as an individual and as a parent in order to create the space for my children to become living expressions of their potential. I also wanted to create a community of parents who were seeking the same things as I was. Rather than give in to my growing sense of isolation, I choose instead to take action and create something that reconnected me, filled my spirit and hopefully will do the same for others. More than anything, I wanted to leave my children with a different legacy.
What was the most challenging part for you about this journey?
AA: The most challenging part for me about this journey was finding language to explain the need to re-define “parenting” in a new context. The language of “parenting” evokes such strong images. For example, when most of us think of parenting, we think of roles such as mother, father and child and acts such as teaching, disciplining and so on. In the book, we have expanded the context to consider parenting as an act of intentional evolution of humanity. In this context it isn’t necessary to have given birth to children and the information is applicable to anyone with a desire to grow and evolve, reclaiming their own birthright of potential and offering guardianship to others who wish to do the same.
The process of parenting is a cornerstone in our development. We are all born to parents, whether those birth parents remain in our lives or are replaced by others who then take on the role of ‘parenting’. Our early survival depends on others. Our experience of being parented instills our sense of values, our beliefs and our attitudes. Much of our identity and self-worth is formed based on what is reflected back to us by our parents.
Our parents are also our first experience of power and authority in our lives and those early interactions create patterns of interaction and perceptions that shape our experiences, often out of our awareness for many years to come. Because parenting as a process is so fundamental to our self concept, it only makes sense that we must consider its impact on us and then how we choose to engage with our children if we want to evolve as a society.
The choices we make as parents can lead us into evolution with intention or can continue a cycle of repetition of the old and familiar.
Finding the language that wasn’t laden with old meaning and inviting the reader to re-define their notion of parenting to a context of evolution was challenging and I think we have succeeded in re-defining parenting in this book.
LL: If I were to be blunt about it, it was tough for me to hold back on the intensity that I feel and know in my body; to hold back on the great sense of urgency I feel that propels me headlong into the parenting conversation, without scaring the bjeezus out of our readers!
I’ve been working with adult men and women for more than 25 years. I have heard the stories of physical, emotional and verbal battering, betrayal and brutality that pass as ‘parenting’, in the name of ‘building’ children into successful adults. I am without mercy when it comes to being open, clear, honest and direct about who we have been as parents and who we must become if we are to have a very different future.
We are long past the point where we can ‘make nice’ with this process; long past the time when we can politely nod and agree that all’s well and in need only of minor tweaking! "If we can just get these kids to..... (fill in the blank)." We are killing our children and, along with them, destroying our present AND our future.
What have you discovered about parenting - and yourself as a parent - as a result of putting this book together?
LL: My instincts are good. My belly tells me ‘yes’ or ‘no’; tells me how to, and when to, and why to. I continue to be in the lives of my sons that same way - trusting my body to guide me forward and knowing that I can trust theirs to do that for them.
It is very clear to me: as adults, when we take responsibility for what we carry from our history, our children discover how to take responsibility for creating their future.
AA: My most potent discovery has been that my moments of imperfection are my greatest opportunities to grow and expand. They create amazing opportunities to honestly interact with my children. Instead of feeling like a terrible mother, I relax into the non-verbal physical cues that accompany that thought. From there, insights arise that open up new ways of interacting with my kids.
What has been your greatest challenge throughout this process?
AA: One of my greatest personal challenges has been balancing my family life with the demands of working on a project like this. There is a lot of detailed work and quiet reflection required and that can be difficult to do in a busy household. It seemed ironic at times to be working on a book about parenting and potential and struggling to find time for my children. In the end, my kids come first and then it seems that the space would open up for the rest. This has been a wonderful opportunity to blend my life and my ‘work’ together in a flexible and nurturing way.
LL: The process of making any book happen with multiple contributors is a greater challenge than just creating my own book. In many ways, it has been like herding cats! Nonetheless, the chorus of voices is putting sound to a critical message in a way that is far more powerful than the lone voice of one who stands alone.
This book is not your usual, run-of-the-mill parenting book. It’s not about ‘how to’ do x, y and z to your kids or how to get them to do it on their own! It’s about us. It’s about the adults taking responsibility for that much deeper inner truth that runs their lives. For that to happen, these 10 courageous authors had to be willing to get naked to the world. THAT is worth any amount of frustration when it has the impact these folks can have.
What advice do you offer your readers?
LL: Take a breath... settle in... and let yourself be moved. Let your intellect know the words and your body know the truth. Take your time as you read and allow yourself to see what you see, know what you know and feel what you feel... trusting that it will all take you where you need to go. And remember : breathing is good....
AA: Never forget that you are the one to make a difference. We are all a part of the sacred whole that makes up humanity. Your willingness to embrace your birthright of potential is perhaps the single most important act that will create new opportunities for future generations, whether you are a parent or not.
Take action. If something in this book speaks to you, follow the impulse. Embrace your curiosity and connect with the authors, read the websites, explore other materials.
What is your hope for this book?
AA: My hope is that this book will be the spark that ignites the next wave of evolution in our world and in doing so, will offer a legacy of hope. This is a book about human potential and the choice to move forward and evolve beyond the limitations of our past. By choosing to reclaim our potential we are able to create a new platform for future generations to stand on as they design the future. Parenting is an essential process that holds the power to nurture our connection to our potential or to limit it. The stories and information in this book holds the power to transform how we see ourselves as parents and, in turn, how we engage the process of parenting our children. I believe that is what it takes to shape our world differently.
LL: That those of us who control and manage and shape the lives of all children, everywhere, will find the courage to tend to our own wounds. Perhaps then, we will stop hurting our children. In that moment, they will have the space within which to become authentically themselves.
It starts with you. Are you ready to redefine your world?
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