Sensual, Sexual and Spiritual Beings

Finally, I know and have language for my own unique, essential-to-my-being, and whole experience of my own sensuality... my experience of my Self in tissue... no longer confused and coupled with the long-time, held-as-true, expected, yet mindless cultural sexualization of women [and men], the world over. Clearly, now, I grok that I am a godforce, expressing fully - and by my choice - inside the device of my own body... the very one, which I created for my Self. The essence of me... the I AM that I am... has taken a quantum leap forward in my choosing to transcend personal identification by gender; the gender, which my body is presenting, is no longer relevant to whom I AM becoming. What was an old and prevalent fear of my own sexuality - continually regenerated through aeons of intergeneration modelling - now feels integrated. In that awakening, I felt a 'cleft' in the tissue of my body - especially at the 4th chakra - and the digestion and metabolism of an old belief, which I could no longer hold as 'true' in the immediacy of that cleft, as I realized that my once acutely held notions of money and fear, which had found traction with each other over the course of my life, were, now, no longer anchored together. In that significant awakening, I finally arrived 'home' to my Self... with full and willing acceptance that I can afford to be abundant. The long and the short of it all is that I now know, inside where I live, that I AM Home; I feel safe to be fully my Self. Finally! I feel, hear and see the evidence of my arrival home, every day, now, in how I am now relating to my Self and to others... and, in my willingness to visibly and audibly decloak to mySelf and to others... no longer holding my Self back from the full expression of that. The Sexual, Sensual and Spiritual Beings Conversation has been a game changer, in and for my experience of my Self, in the process of living my life, as worthy of the godforce that I AM. Mahalo, Louise, for creating the space for this conversation to happen. Already, my awareness of the impact of SSS is penetrating my conversations with others. It can't not; this awareness and my declaration of it, decloaked, continues to open and to expand the freeing of my own emerging joy. Not too shabby at 66 years of age! This IS me, undeniably welcoming the arrival of ME, as Crone. :-) Again... Mahalo.

I am so glad to take this moment to put to words the vibration that has been moving through me since SSS. I knew the Sensual, Sexual and Spiritual Beings conversation was going to be important for me, I just didn't know how much. For me, it was the beginning of discovering another layer of intimacy with mySelf. I experienced the continuum of Sensual, Sexual and Spiritual inside mySelf as I integrated information that was still lingering from my past which allowed me to employ the strategies of holding back, of being afraid of my own sensuality and sexuality as a woman, defined by what our culture deems appropriate. I know now I am Unique, Whole and Essential to MY World, the world I choose to create for mySelf not the world that was created for me. It allowed me to let go. In the weeks following what I have noticed is my responsibility to mySELF, and in letting go of taking on the responsibility of others. Seeing each human being as a GODFORCE in flow as a Quantum Biological Being, seeing and hearing more clearly the stories I have created for mySelf, and recognizing them as such. I can revel and relish in my own sensuality, sexuality and spirituality and know I am all of them at the same time, no longer having to run up and down, or go back and forth along the continuum, instead knowing they curve around and connect. Connecting all aspects of ME to the I AM that I AM. The conversation has changed in life in ways I know I cannot even fathom at this moment, and, I am excited to see what else as my life unfolds.

This particular retreat experience centered on such a potent and inflammatory subject matter for me, I must admit, I was somewhat hesitant at first to engage the conversation. Yet held within the gracious space created by Louise and the WEL-Systems® context and process, it allowed me to make room to relax and awaken a whole new different level of Self-awareness that I didn’t even know existed or was possible for me. Old feelings of being broken – not whole – a cracked dish, frigid, a cock-tease, stuck up, apologizing for my lack of sexuality and appeal … so-called emotions and energetic charges in my body, long repressed, shut down, numbed, out of my mindful awareness, dismissed, slapped down, (yet in many ways running my life; keeping me small; fearful; not fully engaged) all of a sudden surfaced and presented opportunities to reveal mySelf to mySelf and to grow and to evolve. It was like another layer of a binding peeling and falling away; another layer of something very precious and cherished being unwrapped, to reveal its brilliant magnificence beneath. Being able to see and luxuriate in a process where I experienced my Self along a continuum within the realm of sensual, sexual, spiritual (had no idea that one even existed since I had previously held such notions as isolated, separate and compartmentalized); allowing space, movement and flow to experience mySelf within the realm of and along the continuum of maiden, goddess, crone … were all powerful and amazing discoveries for me. Through the process of Quantum TLC™ and in the safe, good company of others I experienced my Self in the awakened tissue of my very being as a reclamation back to Self and my wholeness … it was like a celebration of a part of my Self having been lost, suppressed, finding mySelf back home to ME … whole, unique, essential to my world. I am whole, unique, essential; not defective; broken; deficient; lacking; no longer apologizing for the shape and design of my body. There is no other to validate me; just ME and I love it. I am the one who is dominant in my life. I am the only one who gets to define me. I am sufficient – I am enough. I experienced another shift in perspective from the choice-point up; another turn on the kaleidoscope and I see, feel and now live through new eyes: a whole new realm of amazing possibilities and treasures for me to engage and to play. As a result of being part of the retreat, I now stand in a different place. The SSS experience has allowed me to raise the level of the conversations with my husband. He does not have to perform and I don’t have to measure up. We get to re-define what it means to be “husband” … what it means to be “wife” while engaging with each other with great RIG -- respect, integrity and generosity of spirit. There is no right or wrong: the conversations now are more meaningful and meaty. Sometimes they are not always welcoming or expected and may have a jagged and jarring quality to them. Nevertheless they get to be aired, they get to surface and see the light of day. No longer festering resentment, disappointment or harboring hidden or secret agendas and manipulations … they get to be unleashed and freed. Whatever fall-out or consequences result, gets to be engaged and metabolized in and by the body. I stand at a different place: a place for me whereby intimacy does not equate to sexuality, and penetration does not mean violation or control. And so, another layer of ME has arrived and I have evolved. I move forward with an enhanced knowingness, a heightened consciousness and a profound reconnection to mySelf and to others. I look forward to the next layer of my perpetually evolving Self. My heartfelt thanks and deepest RIG to all.

Your invitation to participate and now to share my reflections on the SSS experience are once again reminders to me to stay open to all that presents as possibilities for my own evolution! This ultimately is what I am here for. The SSS experience was for me one of reclaiming - reclaiming self - reclaiming and allowing to grow parts of me that indeed I didn't fully realize were not the way I desired them to be. The presentation and discussion of sensual-sexual-spiritual as a continuum was powerful. It encouraged me to see how we progress through each as we go through our life span - maiden to crone... caused me to see how out of proportion the sexual part of the continuum is in our current society ( being defined by gender before or definitely by birth and the external referencing begins )... and then challenged me to see that as godforces we are sensual-sexual-spiritual beings at all stages and ages of our life journey. The strong visual so often repeated was the bringing forward and together of our arms and hands - as if the continuum bends and comes to completion in that joining to create a circle, a crucible, wherein the sensual-sexual-spiritual move together as one - holding these aspects of who we are. I see the movement in this bowl and am delighted at the completeness of these 3 coming together . I see so clearly the unity and claim that all 3 are me and I take ownership. My personal experience during the 4 day experience in discovering and growing the spiritual part of me from an intellectual knowing to a truly magnificent knowing in the tissue of my body was life changing. As I type this I am filled with tingling and goosebumps and I know myself as an organic being of energy and light... sensual-sexual-spiritual ! This was not a “one of” but an ongoing knowing of the fullness of who I am in my body – and I can draw on this wisdom 24/7 ! 

I could write more as there was so much and I'm sure its captured in the CDs... the above is my ongoing knowing from the experience. As I engage with others in this SSS conversation now it confirms my learning and certainty. ! I am unique, I am whole and I am essential to my world! With great RIG Leona

I AM Maiden. I AM Goddess. I AM Crone. In my world I had been taught each stage was a rite of passage that comes with age and experience. I discovered in the sacredness of the Sexual, Sensual, Spiritual Retreat that I have access in each breath to the wholeness I already AM as each of these expressions. There is nothing to search for or nothing to strive towards in a framework that allows me to experience my own sensuality, sexuality and spirituality outside the confines of defining them in the densely distorted box of culturally defined, capital S, Sexuality. In the MASSIVE space I was able to reclaim my body and take back the access to my own CHOICE- that it is indeed my body to experience the sensual experience of the godforce that I AM in tissue and from here express my own sexuality through the creations of my life...and to know it really has NOTHING to do with sex! Over the past few weeks I am left with a much greater sense that my life is MINE without the performance and obligation that I found myself struggling against in the old definition of my 'sexuality'. What I discovered deep inside mySelf in SSS has deeply impacted my relationships and even my parenting as I choose a much larger space in which the sexualization of culture does not dictate my choices, how I feel about mySelf or what I impose on others. I AM free! I have a sense of OWNERSHIP of mySelf AS my WORLD that did not exist before this conversation. I have relaxed into the UNIQUE experience of mySelf that allowed me to be able to claim that I AM WHOLE and I am ESSENTIAL to my world. As I inhaled as the Maiden I experienced my sensuality. As I exhaled mySelf in my creations as the Goddess I discovered the capacity for my sexuality. As I now become the Space, the Creator, the stillness and pause of the Crone exists as an essential experience of my spirituality where each of the others (sensuality and sexuality) get to unfold effortlessly and seamlessly.

I am so happy to share my experiences of SSS. Wow I feel like I am in a much different place today. It's been amazing and I don't know if I have the words to describe my experience. There were so many huge moments for me, beginning with the awareness that sexualisation of me, of women was the filter that I seen the world through and it colored everything. I will share some thoughts and writing since my experience and you can use what you need to Louise. This piece is Untitled I walked through the turbulence, the storm of the fettered beliefs of my sexuality, The one dimensional understanding of not that, no other revealed, It covered everything, no room for sensuality or anything else Layer upon layer of darkness, Differing degrees from shades of gray to dark dank places. I knew this was not me, caught in the trap of my conditioning, Shame, a lie, colored everywhere, not mine, Perpetuated, yes. My sexuality, my sensuality is mine, it belongs to me, no one else, not for sale, priceless. I know, i have always known that was not me, Inside here in a deep place that I kept hidden, a treasure, a light, a sense, a knowing, It is vibrating, awakened, engaged, moving, excited, All of me expressing through the vibrancy of the multifaceted Force that I AM. For me the reclamation... Innocence is the portal...to transform culture My intense immensity creates the potential and possibility for transformation. and ... The bowl connected, sacred in its wholeness The space created, pregnant with potential, Complete in every moment and, Opportunity in each breath. I am unique...I am whole...I am essential to mySelf, my World, my Universe! It has been remarkable, all of it, and I am truly so grateful for every opportunity to engage. I continue to evolve, grow, breathe, flow, vibrate, and of course as Louise would say there is always more... Hugs to all. :-)

I have just completed listening to what I can only describe as a potent, life altering conversation that for far too long has been missing in our world! I now have a new place to stand inside of myself as I consider what has been so deeply buried, and blindly driving how I considered myself as a whole being. This is a must listen for all women in the world as there is no conversation that I am aware of that digs right to the proverbial heart of the matter for us as a culture and a society. As much as I have lived from a perspective of being indeed unique, whole and yes! essential to my world, the layers of discovery that emerged for me as a result of listening to this conversation has truly and I know will continue to transform my expression of my being in this world. Thank you for your tenacity with staying with creating this conversation and the courage to both invite and allow it to emerge for yourself and your generosity of sharing it with all of us. FYI -- I will never "hear the sound of the lawn mower" the same way again. Seeing with new eyes , hearing with new ears , smelling new scents and feeling the full essence of my being is such an incredible outcome from listening to this recorded conversation. Who knew one could have such immense growth from listening to CDs and yet, I can firmly attest to it. My joyous and free being is singing, can ya hear it? Hugest of hugs:)

The journey to mySelf which began in Decloaking and continued through Engaging and Manifesting has been deepened in SSS. Growing up, I was taught by media, family and experience that my development as a woman happened in discrete stages. Becoming a woman was a rite of passage. At puberty I would transition from MAIDEN to GODDESS. I would continue as the sexually knowing GODDESS until menopause. Only then would I transition to the wise CRONE. Deep inside, I knew that I was more and just MAIDEN or GODDESS or CRONE. I railed against the limitations which were placed on my by virtue of my gender and my age. I was out of tune and disconnected from the WHOLENESS of mySelf. Since SSS, I have considered how I chose to life my life and the choices which I have made as a woman. I know the strategies which I used to contain my sensuality and spirituality while limiting my sexuality. In bringing those strategies to light, I have jettisoned them. I now acknowledge my wholeness as a woman. This wholeness I have always known but have not had the words to bring forth. In letting go of old ways of thinking and being, I can live all aspects of my sexual-sensual-spiritual self. They are all parts of the whole which is ME. I AM Maiden and Goddess and Crone fully integrated at the same time. They are ALL me. In knowing this, I feel full and complete in tissue: fully integrated and no longer disjointed. I am Unique. I am Whole. I am Essential to My World. I am the creator of my world which is an expression of the person I have always known myself to be. I carry with me the image of my arms coming together to form a chalice. The sacred vessel which holds all aspects of mySelf as a woman. And in the formation of the vessel lies the power of creation. In the completion of that vessel is a roundness which is at once lively and buoyant and life giving and creating while being strong and possessing a depth of being which is worlds deep.

[...] from participants in the recent four-day Sexual, Sensual and Spiritual Beings retreat, visit the Engage WEL-Systems area.  Be sure to add your comments should you choose to experience the retreat CD’s. Share [...]

I am just about finished listening to the 10 CD set from this amazing experience, that I was present for. There are no words for me to describe the shifts that have taken place as I listen to the words, and the spaces in-between the words of a conversation I was actively part of. My experience in this moment is this CD set allows us to unearth a fundament truth that is buried deep inside and covered up by years and layers of cultural conditioning. How do I know the power this CD set has? My life reflects the shifts I feel inside of myself, it's that simple!

When I listened to the SSS CD’s my experience of myself shifted. Initially, I became very aware of my rage as a result of “innocence taken”; my self-flagellation for not measuring up; and the roots of my fierce competitiveness. I was overcome at one point by the discovery that I denied and suppressed my own sexuality and sensuality because I was ashamed of being “woman”. The intensity of the “wave of shame” overwhelmed me and I struggled and struggled and in a breath I chose to relax into the shame and surrendered to my body and my world changed. On the other side of the wave, I’m amazed at how differently I see myself and my sense of wholeness from merging (and accepting) of the sexual, sensual and spiritual me into one being! When I picture the continuum of Maiden, Goddess and Crone, for me it was cloaked in a deep rooted strategy of “not that” and intense fear of loss of power and self-control. I have become so vividly aware now when the “not that”, fear, power and/or loss of self-control surface and now, I get to choose left or right side; do I repeat the old strategy, expecting something new or take a leap and choose door #1? And there you have it! I know there is more for me to discover by engaging in meaningful conversions with others about living as sexual, sensual, spiritual beings. I’m absolutely dying to have this conversation! As I wrote in an email to Louise, “I get this watery feeling in my chest just thinking about this conversation. It feels like my power center is turning to water and flowing throughout my being!”