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Bifurcation or Bust!
…thoughts from the path of personal evolution
and growth
by Gwen McCauley
We’ve just completed another series of spectacular personal evolution
program experience intensives. Imagine the joy of spending 16 days working
with people who are deeply committed to becoming more, to discovering just
how much potential they carry, to learning from and letting go of all those
events and choices made earlier in their lives that caused them pain, suffering,
heartache, despair and even disease. Imagine the delight of watching their
moments of insight and discovery, moments when life changes profoundly and
forever … in a heartbeat. Imagine the sacredness of being present
to someone as they let go of memories that have haunted them most of their
lives. What an incredibly, unbelievable life I have created for myself.
And here I sit, 3 days after it has all finished, restless, unsettled
and cranky (some might even say bitchy!): huge waves of energy continuing
to move through my body; insights about myself and how I move through
the world surfacing from time to time as I play yet another game of
Spider because I’m unable to settle down to any “meaningful” work.
The book I’m writing pushes through to mindful awareness from
time to time; amidst the swirl of energy I can feel it pressing up
against me and yet I know that I’m too unfocussed to write. Thoughts
of unwritten e-mails and marketing to be done for future programs assail
me from time to time. I have spurts of “meaningful” activities
but they don’t last long: quick phone calls, short e-mails. Nothing
seems to satisfy. Even Spider is boring, except I can’t seem
to stop. It soothes my body while allowing my mind to remain blank
so that I can process all this swirling of energy and information.
This is a pattern that I have and that I know many others experience
when they have moved through an experience that gets the juices flowing.
I used to fight it and beat myself up relentlessly for wasting time,
for lacking drive and willpower. I used to believe that these periods
of swirling, churning, unfocussed, unsettled, restless, crankiness
were active proof of how lazy, purposeless and selfish I was.
But time and a growing acceptance of how I move through my life with
a brilliance that is all my own has helped me to see these periods
of flux differently. I now celebrate them because I know that they
are the launching point for a new and magnificent unfolding of my life
into more. I know that when I give myself permission to simply be present
to me in these times of uncertainty and churn that I am simply in the
midst of a bifurcation process …who I have been has been invited
to become significantly more by being in the presence of these seekers
who are themselves committed to becoming more …what has held
meaning, in the way it has held meaning, is now being reexamined at
some fundamental level. And when the chaos subsides, if I simply breathe
into it, relax my body and don’t press for resolution before
the process is complete, I will discover a whole new Me ready and eager
to step into the next phase of my life. I don’t know who will
emerge, but I have the certainty of knowing from previous experience
that I will like the new Me and that I will get to experience my life
as an even more profound and sacred voyage of growth and evolution
than it has already been. I know that I will have even more to offer
to my family, friends, clients and colleagues.
Imagine! All this from relaxing into seething agitation! Ten years
ago I wouldn’t have thought it possible. Today millions continue
to believe that it isn’t; that profound personal change only
comes from lots of hard work over extended periods of time. That may
be in their world, but in mine, it is fast, painless and allows time
for fun …anyone for a game of Spider?
Gwen McCauley is a founding partner of the WEL-Systems® Institute and ProGenerations its operating division specializing in corporate applications. Gwen regularly
delivers workshops and seminars on coaching and professional development. In
her coaching practice she works both with other coaches and with individuals
on diverse topics such as career and life transition, change management,
leadership and personal development. Gwen holds a BA in
Sociology/Anthropology and an MA in Human Systems Intervention. She has
trained in Myers-Briggs, Open Space Technology, Appreciative Inquiry, Total
Quality Management and Generative Leadership. Gwen is a WEL-Systems Educator,
a Quantum TLC™ Facilitator and an NLP Master Practitioner
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in its entirety with appropriate acknowledgement of the author, the source, and
a weblink to www.WEL-Systems.com
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