A New Year - A New Beginning
by Amy McNaughton
As I step into this coming New Year, I know that it will be the beginning of many changes in my life because of choices that I have recently made and others which Iím about to make. I will be leaving my job of over 15 years to step into creating my own business Ė one that is mine and through which I am molding myself. I am giving birth to my own creation and for me, thatís a little bit scary.
I began with a few simple changes back in the fall of 2003 when I started studying to be a Nutritional Consultant; and then in the late fall of 2005, I started my studies to do Bio-Energetic Testing and was working for someone else. In June 2006, I became a RNCP (Registered Nutritional Consulting Practitioner). I purchased the Bio-Energetic Testing service Omega
Testing at the beginning of December 2006 which meant that it was now mine to do with as I wanted. Although I felt like I had accomplished something, I knew that there was something more out there for me - something much bigger - which I knew that I needed to sink my teeth into. The search was on!
In the fall of 2006, I took a course through the WEL-Systemsģ Institute which has become not only the biggest investment for my business but also the biggest investment in my life. What I have discovered through this experience is that somewhere along the way, I lost myself and was living a life that wasnít meaningful to me. What I know now is that the coming year is about to unfold in a way that it has never before unfolded in my life: MY WAY! This will be no small feat.
So, my resolution starting today and for the rest of my life is to
start living my life to the fullest capability and to STOP living my life for
every one else. Why should I live my life for others when they already have lives of their own? This is going to be the hardest thing that Iíve ever done! And I can tell you that energy is moving through my body right now and the tears are flowing. Iím trying hard not to hold my breath because I know very well if I hold my breath I wonít create the space in me that I need to become the bigger and Ė yes! - better me. I say better because Iíve never lived my life for myself and this will be a first for me. Iím very scared.
Iím going to expose myself to the world for everyone one to see for the very first time and the thought has me shaking in my boots. Am I capable of actually being my Authentic Self? Iíve lived for so many years being someone else that I donít really know who I am anymore. Years of hiding behind work, family, my husband and then my daughter. It was all good back then but I wasnít allowing myself to be me. Iíve created my own excuses so I didnít have to step up to the plate.
I remember listening to a friend of mine talk about the birth of her son. It hit me like a lead pipe. I felt so consumed by her story and kept thinking back to my own daughter and how she fills my life so muchÖ and then the flood light went on. I allowed myself to become Meaganís
mother. I allowed myself to be consumed by the whole idea and wonderful feeling that it brought me. I have been hiding behind this wonderful little being who doesnít need anyone hiding behind her. I became and still am up to this point Meaganís Mother and lost myself. Do I do the same to her by having or ďlettingĒ her become Amyís
daughter; and assisting her at losing herself and her own identity? Or do I show her the way to stay her Authentic Self so she may become the powerful woman that I already know that she is at the age of 10?
My tears have stopped and now the information flows. It is amazing what happens when I take a word like emotion and change it to energy or information. It allows me to step out of my body, look at whatís actually going on and then process the information that I received without getting caught up in the flood of judgments that would be attached to a ďtherapyĒ model. (Something I learned from the WEL-Systems approach and very valuable, to say the least!) It has taken me a while to realize that I havenít been living my life for myself and now that I know this, Iím hoping with all my heart that I donít ever let someone make decisions about my life again.
So, who will I be today? Iím not 100% sure but I can tell you who I wonít be.
I wonít be my husbandís wife, Meaganís mother, my motherís daughter or any of
my familyís, sister. I will be ME and no one else. I will not be Amy (the person
that I used to refer to in the 3rd person because she got sucked up into the
black hole of life and I let it happen to her). I, on the other hand, am strong;
and do in fact have a mind of my own and will use it to make the choices that
I choose to make even if I donít make any at allÖ because itís my choice.
I wonít be making any New Yearís Resolution this year like I have in the past. You know, the usual things like ĎIím going to start exercising more often, go to the gym, lose weightí and all those other things that we never find time to do and end up ďbreakingĒ, anyway. Itís time for me to take a look inside myself and make a new discovery; find out who I am. I believe that when I am able to be true to myself, I will be able to be true to others.
In the past, Iíve put the blame on others, felt sorry for myself but not once did I ever claim responsibility for the outcome. If I did that, then Iíd have to admit that just maybe I made the wrong choices. Whether work, family (that one sends shivers down my spine!) or my personal life, Iíll just say thank-you for what Iíve done with it. I thank myself more often now because making the choices that I did in the past have made me realize that I wonít be making those same choices anymore.
Once I made the decision to change and rearrange my life, I got some really interesting looks from people; from husband, my daughter, my family and clients. Some have welcomed the change, some have shunned it and some think Iím just damn right out of my mindÖ that Iíve lost it! Some even think Iíve joined a cult. (That one makes me laugh! Donít be too happy or someone will think that thereís something wrong with you!) Something that I now share with most people that I meet because it makes them stop and smile and not worry about what other people have to say is: Your
opinion of me is none of my business! A friend of mine says ďOpinions are like belly buttons - everyone has oneÖ and yours belongs to you and mine belongs to me.Ē So when it comes to something like an opinion, yours reveals stuff about you and mine reveals stuff about me. It doesnít mean I should change anything about who I am.
So today and from this day forward, I will:
- Stop living my life the way other people think I should.
- Stop worrying about other peopleís opinion.
- Be honest and true with myself and everyone around me. If I donít like something, then Iíll be honest and not worry about ďhurtingĒ someoneís feelings because what I know is when they find out that Iíve lied, thatís what really hurts.
- Stop apologizing for being me. I refuse to ďpretendĒ to be someone that Iím not.
- Stop taking things personally.
- Start being good to me. Take time to read, walk, soak in the tubÖ whatever suits me at the time.
- Have intelligent conversations with myself. (Not, ďI canít believe I was so stupid.Ē Or anything else along those lines.)
- Just be myself and then the rest will all fall into place (and Iíll be much happier and will rest well at night).
- Donít worry about how others perceive the changes in me. Some people will be in my life for a long time and others may not. But I wonít be hurt because being true to myself is more important than anything else.
In my life, I have worried so often about what other people think of me that I managed to forget who I was. Iíve pretended for too long. I hear people ďbickeringĒ and it drives me nuts now because Iím thinking, ďIf your life is so bad then make some different choices to improve it.Ē The answers lie within. I canít change others but I can make choices, which will change not only my life but also the people around me. What Iíve discovered is that since Iíve changed, Iím a lot happier and my whole family, (my husband and daughter) are also reaping the benefits. Itís just a happier place.
Have a Happy New Year and a Happy New Life! Live it to the fullest and enjoy everyday of it. Be true to you and the rest will take care of itself.
Amy McNaughton - Registered Nutritional Consulting Practitioner, Registered Sports Nutrition Advisor, Reiki Master and WEL-Systemsģ Facilitator - is a Health and Wellness Coach living in the Halifax (Nova Scotia) area. Passionate about her life and yours, Amy engages with family, friends and clients for the same end: to free themselves of self-imposed limitations and discover how to reclaim a meaningful life. A writer and an artist, Amy's compassion and her desire to create are the driving forces in her own life and in her work with others. For more information, you can contact her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
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